It’s that time of year again, the New Year, when people start thinking about their life and how they want it to change, goals, resolutions and promises to themselves to be better people. Most people start with a problem – they feel unfit, overweight, they want to give up smoking, or stop being so angry, for example. It’s laudable to notice something that’s wrong and want to change it, but all too often their energy is focused on that negative, and easy early results don’t seem to turn into long-term gains. Resolutions are forgotten and discarded in a heap of ‘what-might-have-beens’ and we resign ourselves to the fact that we will always be a bit fat, or smoke, and that everybody has the right to be angry, just look at the state of the world!
And therein lies the crux of the matter: by focusing on what’s wrong with the world, what’s wrong with us, or our lives, we are creating ‘negative’ thoughts. Negative thoughts produce the chemicals of stress in our body, like cortisol, which when combined with adrenaline and noradrenaline are great for fighting or running away, not so good for producing feelings of success, reward and feeling bloody marvellous! For these feelings we need our inner pharmacy to be mixing us cocktails of serotonin, dopamine, melatonin, endorphins, oxytocin to name but a few. So, when our thoughts are ‘positive’ and our bodies active, we produce chemicals that make us feel good, which in turn reinforce our positive thoughts and actions in an increasing spiral.
So instead of focusing on what you don’t want, focus on what you do. Most of us want good health and happiness. Instead of saying to yourself ‘I’m too fat, I must lose weight. What can I try?’ or ‘I want to give up smoking.’ say, ‘What shall I do today to support my best health?’ or ‘Is this supporting healthy Me?’ That way you are already picturing yourself healthy. Your energy is directed towards being healthy. By guiding your attention mindfully towards being the best you can be you are giving yourself a better chance of succeeding in what you desire. Picture in your mind yourself at your best: looking healthy, confident, happy, loving, powerful, whatever you want. Make the picture in your mind big and bright and very appealing. Add in anything you want to that ‘best you’, it’s your imagination after all so you can make it anything you desire. Use your memories of times when you felt fantastic, when you did something brilliantly or easily, when you laughed or felt sublime, or were playful, carefree, whatever great memories you have or have ever seen anyone else doing and can imagine them feeling. Light it up and make it bold – king or queen of the world! When your imagination has such a wonderful picture of you at your best that you can hardly resist it, step into that ‘best Me’, try it on for size and feel how wonderful it feels for a moment. Then step out again. Now you have a compelling idea of what you’re like at your best, it’s time to head in that direction and make it reality. If your imagination was working well there, you are already producing those feel-good neurotransmitters inside to give you a head start.
For all those people who are thinking ‘Yes but that will never be me.’ Stop! What if it could? If it’s not worth trying, then give up now. Stay the same if that’s what you want. But what if it could be you? What if by focusing your attention and energy in a positive way at each and every obstacle that might occur, you can do it? What if you resolved to give it a go? What if you invested the energy now and kept on investing that energy in being the best you can be and you succeed?
And, when it comes to celebrating your success and rewarding yourself for your efforts, remember the question ‘Is this supporting the healthy/happy/best me?’ still applies. It’s a question for every occasion.
Come to one of evening talks or training events and find out how to let go of old habits or emotional hang-ups. Starting to Tap (EFT for Beginners) helped Diane to overcome biting her nails in one day. See when the next one is on our events page.
If you believe you can’t do it, watch Arthur’s video on Youtube for inspiration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIXOo8D9Qsc